continuation about my Childhood

 Starting about where I stoped 

Well, I was talking about my crush to Laís and about my first feeling, I don’t remember about the first time that I saw her and I can’t remember about how I met the most of my friends at that condo, but I remember of her at the most part of my childhood, I don’t guess her so beautiful anymore, but I can say only that my feels is die… so I guess that I don’t have a crush to her anymore. It’s weird… when a peoples that was really important to you at the past, simplify, you don’t care anymore.  

  Here are a picture showing all my friends at that condo, the first girl is my Sister, I can’t remember when this picture was taken, but she was really little, maybe 4 years old, I’m not sure, the second girl is Gabriela, I never was friend of her, I always saw her like a spoiled brat, and I don’t like this type of persons, but all others liked her, she have same age than Laís, and Laís have 2 years more than me. :P

 The 3ª is Laís, well, I don’t need to talk about her now, You know more about her than others. Haha

  The 4ª is Natalia, she was a awesome girl and I always liked to joke with her and her brother, Paulo, that’s the 5ª (from Left for Right), sometimes He and she was fighting and her always got the blame, and was punished by her mom.

 The 6ª is me, my hair was brown with blonde, I hate it when it happened haha, but it’s okay, I painted it fast, everyone was saying that my hair seemed with Dogs hair. J

 The 7ª is Giovanna, She’s really cool and is younger than me, always was cool to joke with her, but when I see her I always feel like her never grew up, I feel like her still is feeling as a kid.

 The 8º is Giovanna’s Brother, His name is Pedro and His nickname was giraffe, because his height, but He never liked to joke with us, and we just play pool or video games.

 And the last guy, that’s up showing his tongue, lol, it’s Raul, My best friend on that condo, we still have a contact but it’s rarely, much of other friends isn’t at this picture, my dad made this picture and his plan was make a picture every year to show how we was growing, well, This lasted until we get out there. J

 Well, now you can know how my friends was at that time, so will be easy to you imagine my story, by for now. 

My Childhood pt 2

Friendships and starting to talk about the Platonic love

 Hi, at my life, one of my most discoveries was that money and power really can change peoples, this happened sadly with my dad and this happened with other persons that I don’t will say the name, but this changed some things at my life, and still is changing it, maybe because it I want leave my house and I want to go so away from here.

 Well, I don’t hate my family, unlike, I love then and to be honest I don’t know if I can live no then, we are really attached, but I guess that will be good to me stay a little away from then, I will can think about my life and learn to live alone, and I will make new friendships too, well, you must be thinking that this has nothing to do with my childhood, but it’s to explain the new season of it and can explain some events (BAD EVENTS) that happened, although I will not talk about it right now.

 I’m little sad right now, I had choices of write diaries about me when I was little, some teachers told me to do it because will be good to me to read later, well, I never did, and now I want a lot to read one, because it I’m starting to write this, maybe it will help me in the future, maybe help me right now, well, I’m loving to write it.

 Backing to my childhood I was talking about the condo and friends, and at my childhood I was attached a lot at my condo friends and maybe because it I didn’t had much friends at school, was really hard to me meet new friends, I was a complicated person, well, later that I leave the condo I started to make new friendships, so it was a little good to me.

 The condo have 6 floors and 24 Aptos(Apartments), and in 24 apartments a had friends at 9 apartments, because I was friend only of kids, and isn’t all peoples that have kids, and some of other apartments have some big kids, older than me, and it was my bro friends, and it was really funny to be honest, though most of them I just saw at the holidays or vacations (sadly), and Raul and Laís was the more easy to me see, they was coming almost every weekend, and I and Raul was joking of things a lot, and at this condo have a Games Room, so we played games a lot there, maybe I will post pictures here later about it.

 I remember that the first time that I saw Laís a was passionate, and I had shy to talk with her to a long time, and she’s a girl, so she don’t come to joke with the guys, later of the puberty, when guys start to talk with girls we started to talk, and just kind of shyness.

 Well, when we started to talk, I start to like her more and more, I was really passionate, I was wanting to stay close from her to talk, but I guess that her liked me only as a friend, it’s because she never seemed to like me more than friends, so we just talk, I’m idiot, I had chances of show my  real feels, but I never had courage, because it this chapter can be called of platonic love, I will talk more about it later, in the next chapter, so by for now.

More About my Childhood

The condo

 Hi, I’m in the condo, if you forgot what I am talking about, so, the condo was the best part of my life and when I was there I was feeling great, I remember that my most problem was when the teacher was calling to my parents because I was messing at school, I guess that I don’t care anymore, I miss my Innocence, Why I can’t get It again?

 Well, my best friend there was Raul, and when I was a kid I had a “crush” on his sister… I was “Liking” her if you can understand what I mean. And to be honest, I never had courage to tell her about it, so it was a platonic passion, I guess that everyone had it, I will talk a little about this passion, it lasted a long time, so if do you want a love store, you can forget, because my life isn’t a fairytale.

 I can have just clear memories only later of 2003, this was when I receive my first computer, this was a awesome year, I meet the Windows XP and I didn’t had internet, so I spent my time drawing at paint, I guessed it really funny, I had internet only at weekends, and when I could, I played games at Internet, games like age of war, la camarera, skull kid, just flash games, but this is ones of games that I can remember.

 I was the first of all my friends that had a computer, and that condo is like a beach house, so peoples go there only at vacations or weekends, Raul was my best friend there because him come more to this condo than other peoples, and was awesome, I miss my life there because when I leave, I lost some of my best friends, I can still fleece, but we do not have the same intimacy.

 Well, if you know that then go to this condo only because there is a “beach house” do you can know that then was richer than me, and I had a computer before than then, so, yeah, it’s weird, well, they parents could have one, but it’s a work computer, and my computer was a fun computer, so some of then told me a time later that had jealous of me, and to be honest, I have jealous of me, because when I was there I was poor, but I was happy, now, my family is more richer than before, we have a awesome house, money, cars, but I miss there, I guess that money does not go with happiness, could be considered by antonym.

 That’s all for now, I will back later with more about my life, and continuing to talk about my childhood, so wait for me and don’t stop to read about me.

My first memories - still do not know where I came from...

The begin of my Childhood

Hello Again, this is my second official post and I promised write about my childhood, so I will start to do it, although I do not remember much of that time.

 Well, My first memory is about when I was at 5 years old, I don’t remember much about it, but I’m sure that I can write all about my childhood in 10 lines, so I will try to write it better, backing to my childhood.

 I can remember just about my life living in a condo, and I can’t remember how I came there, all that I know is what my parents tell me, and I guess that I need to believe, I don’t have other explanations for this, and if I start to think so much about it I can become crazy, or it’s the other peoples opinion?

 Continuing, I remember about this condo and I remember that I had kids to play there, some of this kids still are my friends, although it is rare that I talk to them, it’s sad, but when time passes some peoples disappears and the friendship is over, and the issue is over, and you still can have then friendship, but only at your mind, at your memories, because it sometimes the brain is good, but the brain can kill you psychologically.

 My dad was caretaker in that condo, and I start to live there with 3 years old, before my dad was a caretaker at other condo, but it was only by 2 years, and other 1 year of my life I lived 6 months in São Paulo, my parents had a store there, but because me they had to start a new business, because my mom was needing to care of me and my dad couldn’t work alone at this store. The house was by rent and when I was with 6 months they leave São Paulo and come to Caraguatatuba, to start a new life, and for 6 months they lived at my aunt house, so my dad received a job offer in a condo, and come there, work for 2 years, so he received a new job offer, with a better salary and a better house for us, and in this condo I lived the most of my life, maybe the best part of it.

what I feel now

 what I am Feeling

Well, My life is a shit, every day I wake up and have to go to school, there happen same thing almost every day, and When I remember that I don’t have money to leave it I want more to leave my life and go to other place, that you know what place is that.

 Well, I wake up at 6:30am o’ clock and I use my clothes and I try to stay good and I try to keep myself good, I try to don’t cry every day so when I come to school, front at all my friends I show myself good and I show then that my life is great, I show then that I love my life and I make then think that I’m happy all the time, Unless that I’m really bad at this day, what happen sometimes.

 Lately I feel me bad, I miss my childhood Innocence, when I didn’t know how life is and how it broke the life of everyone, the worst nightmares happen in adolescence, and the badly thing is that it’s real and you just want to cry, it’s what I feel all the time, I want to back to my childhood and I feel that I just lost it, I can’t back there anymore, so I just think that the life start when you innocence is over, when the childhood, so I feel that I could have used more but now it’s over and I can’t have my innocence back, I can’t feel me free anymore.

 Well, I remember that when I come to puberty I couldn’t understand why I didn’t wanting to joke with the other  kids, I didn’t guessing it funny, I just was wanting to do other things, It’s like I was starting to like girls and started to think then attractive, well, It’s good, But it was all new to me and I just start to understand the puberty much years later, and to be honest, I can understand only my present like three years later, so I really can understand clear what happened with me, and to be honest, I can’t understand what’s happening  with me right now, I hope can understand it in three years.

 So this is my first real post Over here and since the next posting I will talk about my life chronologically, starting by my childhood, Today I just told what I’m feeling right now, so I guess that you can’t understand me, because I own can’t understand it, I just guess my life embarrassing. Thank you to your attention and I see you at my next post. J

My rules

The Story of My life

Well,

 Here I will post everyday a part of my life trying to explain what do I feel and it's to other peoples try to understand me and try to understand my decisions.

 My friends don't know me right and maybe then will can understand me better, Once a friend told me that the peoples can't understand your decisions, because only you can see any thing with your eyes, no one can feel the same that you, because you had diferent situations of life and it makes much sense to me.

 I hope that peoples can understand my feels and no one hate me, so please, don't make jokes about me or use any thing thats here to post at other places.

 This blog is destinated only to my friends so please, if you don't know me you're not invited to read about me, it's a public diary and I will hate if someone that don't know me read it only to make jokes or use it counter me, so I will be greatful if you leave it right now, but if you're my friend, you're welcome. :)